Monday, December 20, 2004

Adelphia Be Damned

Listening to: The Libertines

My late-night guilty-pleasure admission: hooked on Court TV, I love the forensics shows, true crime, lurid, gruesome details of how our neighbors are packing away bodies and running corpses through wood-chippers.

Adelphia provides my internet and cable, so it's little wonder the Rigas family isn't being featured on Court TV (the Rigas' sons and dad, Adelphia CEO and underlings, were a little fast and loose with stockholders money) but that's beside the point. No one needs me to attest to what kind of shitbirds Adelphia and the Rigas are, it's a matter of public record.

Late night, about the only commercials playing are Adelphia commercials. Gee, I wonder if Adelphia's burned some bridges. They're sure working on it with me.

In Adelphia's grab to be the most repulsive corporation ever, they run commercial that I find incredibly offensive, one that pushes their internet service. An ad featuring the "Tale of Two Mothers", one with high-speed Adelphia and the other with slooooooooooow dial-up. The mother with high-speed Adelphia gets all her stuff done and therefore has time to spend with her children. On the other hand, the mother with slooooooooooooow dial-up is so bogged down by her internet connection that her children are neglected, left to starve and shoot heroin and run the streets to set fire to drunken bums.

I've seen these kinds of commercials before and they disgust me: "If you don't but our product, well, it's not up to us to say you're A BAD PARENT but anything less than OUR PRODUCT is, frankly, enough to get you reported to DSS, really, without OUR PRODUCT, you've obviously lost site of your priorities and decided saving a few pennies is more important than the potential dismemberment or emotional scarring or (*shudder*) death that our competitors product will mean for your precious spawn..."

Hmmmmm... as opposed to becoming a consumerist moron? Hey, thanks for your advice ya' advertising exec douchebag but we'll risk living on the cheap - because we have no choice. You can drive your Volvo straight up your ass. And as far as high-speed internet? I decide how much time I'm on the computer, not you twits. If I'm on dial-up it only means I do less on the internet, not that I get less done with my kids, you sleazy maggots. Cable has only made it easier to download kid's games off of Bear Share so I don't have to go pay for them at a Big Box.

Us "little folks" can embezzle, too.

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