Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Things I've Discovered Since X Took the Kids

Listening to: The Pixies, Surfer Rosa

X and I talked last week and she's certain she's ready to go back to shared custody. I'm not against that at all - the kids need their mom. We'll see. So we're back on 3/4, meaning, I get them 3 days one week, 4 days the next.

She thinks I need to change the title of this blog from "A single full-time dad..." to whatever. Whatever. I'm still single (momentarilly) and I don't feel any less full time, even if she has them 50% of the time. When she has them I get calls all the time, "Tell Zeke not to throw toys at his sisters" or "Marni doesn't want to go to bed" or "Lilly won't eat her dinner." I report, you decide.

When X gets the kids, there's a bit of a ritual I indulge in. First of all, The Nap. MMMMmmmmmmm... "The Nap". One or two hours of uninterrupted sleep. Second thing I do is run to the liquor store for beer/wine/both so I can, well, cook a lot of brisquet.

Third thing I do is start cleaning the up the devastation left by a children aged 6, 4, and 2. You've read me bitch about this before: Froot Loops stuck to table legs, jello smeared on the coffee table, socks flushed down the toilet. Standard perenting blog stuff, I admit.

At the risk of stifling reads by all but the hardcore, I still have to enumerate these things because my life is full of this. Chaos. And if you like the Marx Brothers, you know that chaos is funny.

Things I found today after my kids left:

  • A snow boot full of Lucky Charms.
  • A plastic dinosaur, several Lego's, a plastic whistle, and a half-empty juice box, shoved almost inextricably (and completely inexplicably) into the front seat of a Barbie Jeep.
  • A wastebasket shoved far under someone's blankets with the wastebasket full of Beanie Babies and potato chips.
  • Little shoes in my bed.
  • One of my shoes filled with a crushed up poptart, Mardi Gras beads and a tiny toy car.
  • A Visual Quickstart Guide embellished with new artwork.
  • Bath toys and several dish towels in the dryer.

...and the night is young.


lu said...


pinkme said...

Oh that just tickles me. :)
I remember the sticky things in odd places, and the taped up action figures with gummy candies for arms.
I can't wait to hear what you found in the couch!

*beats the "10 Ways to Please Your Woman" article I found stuffed in the crack of my sons bed*

chip said...

It is absolutely amazing where food can get to when little kids are involved. Reading your list was like reliving my own kids' toddler years... Well, come to think of it, I did just find a banana peel on my printer, so maybe it's like reliving my current life too. iow, it never gets better. sorry...

Cinnabar1 said...

Absolutely no need to change the title of your blog. Being a (good) parent is a Full Time job regardless of who has custody & when... it's not something you can just turn off when the kids are gone. Shove it kicking & screaming into a tiny dark hole in your psyche & slam the door for a few hours perhaps.........

Mamacita said...

Your blog is one of my top reads. I absolutely love it. But you already knew that, didn't you. In other news, I'm peeing green. Or is that a little TOO specific?

My son is 24, and a few weeks ago I found a rubber nipple in my desk drawer. What was it doing in there? Collecting dust. I have no idea. But it tells you something about how often I clean.