Last week I posted about clients I've been seeing and asked for some input; you beautiful people came through in ahuge way. In that post, I promised to keep you updated on the situation and now is as good a time as any to add a little more spice to the brew.
There was another session today, rife with confrontation. The girl is not too happy that I've made some demands on her behavior and she perceives me as much a foe as her mother. That's fine, I'm a therapist, not a buddy. I'm not paid to stroke egos or co-sign bullshit, I'm paid to reveal truths and help find solutions.
So, I'm interested to see what all of you think regarding my hard-assed approach to parenting a 14-year old girl:
- Until she has at least a 'C' in all classes, no privileges;
- No skipping classes/school unless mom approves. Skipping class/school gets privileges revoked.
After she has achieved at least a 'C' in every class, she gets:
- One weekend night out, 10 PM curfew; 11 PM when she turns 15, midnight when she turns 16;
- One weeknight out 8 PM curfew but exceptions can be made for school-sponsored events;
- No phone use after 10 PM;
- Can only go to a friend's house if parents are at the house;
- No friends over unless mom is at home;
- No friends older than 16-years old;
- Drinking and/or drugs, not being accountable for location, or dishonesty voids all privileges for one month
As I said in my previous post, I'm also holding mom accountable. I told her, "No more nights off until we get through this. Either your on board with this 100% and keep your guard up or find another therapist." She claims she's prepared to do whatever it takes to get her daughter back on track and she's up for the sacrifice.
My hope is that the daughter will turn around. I wouldn't be this strict with my own kids - unless they were also saddled with a Conduct Disorder. However, desperate situations require desperate measures and if I can convince the girl that things will ease up if she can show she can follow the rules and earn her mom's trust, I will have succeeded.
So what do you think? Am I being an unreasonable prick? Again, I'm seeking your input.