Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Mixing It Up Sans Snow & Ice

Listening to: Ms. 10,000's Mix CD, suckahz

Trying to clean up the wreckage left by the three whirling dervishes that spin endlessly through this place is a Herculean task except that when I finally get that boulder up to the summit, it rolls right over me on its way back to the bottom.

While in the kitchen, trying to pry dried fruit loops from the floor, Zeke gets busy tearing up the covers of books within his reach. Where did he get this? I dunno, neither of his sisters were especially destructive when it came to books but he seems to have some inherent need to destroy my library. God, I hope he's not destined to become some witch-hunt minded fundamentalist nutjob drooling over the prospect of a bonfires-for-books. The little nazi punk (insert your favorite Dead Kennedy's lyric here).

Exiled to his room, rolled in a blanket and reminded that daddy is not happy with how he treats daddy's books, Zeke looks at me with eyes that say, Yes, I know I screwed up and a nice nap is what I need to put this nasty business behind me. Well, Mr. Snark, you're getting off easy with a nap. You could be forced to watch The Care Bears® video another 17 times today.

I just posted a comment to answer Eccentric Dad's question about disciplining children and realized that putting Zeke in his room is a good example of my posted advice. Zeke wants to stay up and play but tearing up books denies him that right.

The spank/don't spank controversy seems silly to me. If you want to spank your kids, go ahead, it's just not my style. I was spanked, popped in the head, and slapped my entire childhood and found that it only made me defiant. When I got to big for smacks to have any real effect, my attitude was, "Whatcha' gonna' do to me now?" My way of thinking says that Behavioral Modification techniques require creativity.

Any input on this will be appreciated by I don't want a "spare the rod" pissing match, I just don't have the patience for that. Push me and by God, you'll go to your room.

I need a nap.


Anonymous said...

I was a nanny for several years, and all of the families I worked with favored helping the child(ren) understand why what they did was not acceptable. I got spankings as a child, but all it did was irritate me, and for at least one of my siblings it was encouragement to simply be smarter and not get caught next time. If/when I have a child, I see no reason to use corporal punishment, not because I necessarily think it is a *bad thing* but because I have not seen it work as well as other methods. Kid makes a mess? They clean it up, no matter how long it takes (as long as they are capable, of course). There is no blanket right answer, in my not-terribly-humble opinion.


Christine said...

I don't believe that spanking is effective. I think it teaches children that big people are more powerful than little people and it doesn't teach them about choosing the right behavior. I see parents and their children every day at my place of work and I see parents bribing or pleading with their children. Children need their grown-ups to be firm and give them natural consequences and be consistent and have follow-through.

Elisson said...

My experience: If you are consistent in your discipline, and your kids (when they're a little older, anyway) respect you, corporal punishment is unnecessary. I wouldn't hesitate to use it, but only to convey a specific message.

The only time I can remember being smacked by a parent is when I, at the ripe old age of three, ran across the street to play with some friends. The Hand o' Gawd descended upon my shoulder and I was hauled back across the street, my ass receiving numerous flat-handed smacks.

Don't (potch) you (potch) EVER (potch) run (potch) across (potch) the street (potch) like that (potch) again! (potch)

Because of its rarity and ferocity - driven by real fear of what could've happened - that was a spanking I never forgot. I can tell you that, even today, I stop and look both ways. Always.