Sunday, March 27, 2005

Hello C&E Catholics and F&P (Feministe & Pandagon) Readers

Listening to: M.I.A., Arular

A big "mmmmmmmmmuah!" to Lauren at Feministe for giving me a nod and boosting traffic on this lil' ol' thing. Lauren pointed everyone towards Jane's excellent post here (hopefully, her first of many) but feel free to poke around, read, comment, make yourself at home. If you'd like some suggestions:
Read my Blogging For Books entry --> CLICK HERE
About the magic of daddy's kisses...
My love of opera!
Why I'm no longer in a rock band...
My inability to get quiet time on "the throne" :-(
My kids at breakfast
How my son was mauled by a dog and what that led to.
Remembering the ex at Christmas.
What I learned about love when Lilly was born...
Marni is Blue.

Now, a follow-up note on Amanda's posts over at Pandagon regarding Single Motherhood (HERE and HERE): although I believe Lauren's assertion that Amanda is an "ally" and I am in complete agreement that society is being twisted in a way that demonizes single mothers at the behest of furthering a patriarchal agenda, I'm still upset that Amanda has made her point by diminishing the role of fathers in parenting. I'll grant you that many fathers are bad men (just as I'll maintain that many mothers are bad women) but I find it hard to stand in unity with people who say, "Although we appreciate your support on this issue, let it be known that we don't value you nearly as much as the oppressed single mother." Having read both posts (several times), I stick to my initial conclusion, that bashing fathers as a means of making a point about single mothers merely draws on the same energy that is used by the hate-mongers on the right.

There is no doubt in my mind that single mothers face hurdles and derision that is unfair. However, I can tell that, as a single father, I have likewise been unfairly stigmatized and categorized. When I was unemployed and looked into assistance, agencies were pretty much unwilling to acknowledge that I had a meaningful relationship with my children (even though I had full custody) and was not only looked at with suspicion, the state actually launched an investigation to make sure I was not trying to bilk them out of a few meager dollars.

When Amanda is willing to acknowledge the system sucks for single PARENTS (and not make it a gender-specific issue), I'll give her due credit. Until then, I still find her rants sexist.

I was going to make some snide remarks about the idiots making noise down in Florida for a brain-dead woman while children are starving in this country but I'll leave off the rants. The kids are all dressed up and rarin' to go hunt Easter Eggs.

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