Thursday, January 27, 2005

Scatalogically Posting

Listening to: Gershwin, Rhapsody in Blue/Concerto in F/An American in Paris (Andre Previn/LSO)

Both my daughters took an interest in the potty chair on or near 24 months. Lilly was actually almost completely potty-trained at 22 months and although Marni was hit-and-miss until almost 30 months (mostly bedwetting), they were both pretty easy to get out of diapers. Indeed, with Lilly it was an overnight transformation.

Not so my son. At almost 29 months, he is almost oblivious to the potty chair. Oh, he'll go into the bathroom while one of his sisters is on the toilet, sit on his potty chair and make a "Sssssssssssss" sound but otherwise he wants nothing to do with the potty. Almost every time I change a diaper I bring training underwear with me but he won't have it, "Not Dat!" he screams.

I've heard boys are harder to potty train (an online parent's poll gives girls the nod by a huge margin) and the "experts" suggest I'm probably jumping the gun with Zeke (another month, they say). Potty training has always been a low-pressure affair with me and my children but after the last diaper I changed...

I'm treading doo-doo territory because of that last diaper and this post by my good friend Steve over at Blog d'Elisson about shit. Real shit, not metaphorical or figurative shit. Does a post about shit go over particularly well? I'm wondering when Genuine* will do a poll on this issue...

Back to where I started... I just had a Four-wipe diaper. With the boy, I rate the diapers. The girls were never much of a concern, that I recall, but then they never had the ravenous appetite the boy has (the kid eats EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME). With Zeke, I rate the diapers by how many wipes are required, 'five-wipe' being just below 'toss him in the tub'. Holy Jesus, holy rock and roll this kid shits prodigiously.

Shitty post, I know... go over to Steve's blog and give him shit, it's his fault. Then go see Genuine* and give him shit and ask him where the shit poll is.

* Mr. Genuine, fellow Colorado blogger and resident of the inauspicious 'I link But Don't Link Me' kitty box - your lot can change, you have the technology. Just a friendly reminder.
Genuine got the message and we welcome him to the esteemed "Wonderfully Defies Category" category, categorically pleased, I am.


pinkme said...

I guess I was lucky. Both of my boys were completely trained by 18 mo (Nick 14 mo). They followed me into the bathroom all the time and I made it a point to talk about "big girl/boy potty" and sometimes I would talk about other things big boys could do. The selling point for both boys was buying the underwear with their favorite character on it. I would tell them to not "pee pee on Barney". That seemed to be important to them. When we were at home I kept them in underwear only (no pants), they much more aware of their underwear and if they had an accident it was a real shock (pee running down their legs is an attention getter).I also did the sticker on the chart thing with Devon and it worked great. I even gave stickers for sitting on the potty with no result (until it got out of hand). You really can't force him to do it until he is ready but if you can convince him it is fun and cool he may take notice, or not. I don't recommend pull-up for anything other than naps or at night. They are far to familiar.

Anonymous said...


Thanks for the if I could just find that blog roll me button...


Elisson said...

"Crapsody in Blue"? Joking aside, I have that fine recording, and it never grows old.

Unlike changing diapers.

Ya wanna get Zeke up wit' da program? Simple. Feed him a lot of corn, garlic, fruit, and nice, fiber-laden cereal. Yeah, I know he probably won't go for th' All-Bran, but dump enough sugar or Lucky Charms in it and he'll dive right in.

After being on that diet for just one day, he will crap out such evil turds that You Will Insist that he crap in the potty, even if you have to duct-tape him to it for two days.

Worked for me!

The Zero Boss said...

Hold the fucking phone! I'm in the Dads category, but the guy with three kids somehow defies all conventions? What about my Worcestershire post? What about my dogging James Dobson?? WHAT ABOUT THE CHERRY CHILL ECLIPSE?!?!

What else must I do to defy convention - dress up in women's clothing? (Not that I'd mind...)

Nino the Mindboggler said...

OK, OK... you're officially wonderfully defying category (I have gotten more grief about these damn categories...).