Life had not prepared me for the kind of decision I was being asked to make and that is why it felt like a different time, a different life. It was as if I had stepped outside of myself and watched someone else playing the part of me in some made-for-TV movie. The daily thoughts I have about my son and this situation, what happened then and how I feel now, all of it seems disconnected to this self that I define as me, today.
Yet, I know that who I am today is irrevocably tied to who I was then, what happened then, and what has happened since. Who I am tomorrow may be a divergence from who I am today or yesterday, but the scar left but what happened then cannot be erased. Whatever or whomever I will be when it’s my time to die will still carry the mark of that moment.
(Continue reading "Noble, Part IV")