Wednesday, June 07, 2006

To all the girls I've flood

I don't know what's up with Des Moines, Iowa but apparently there's something in the water. Recently, aerial photographs of the city's flood water detention basin revealed an interesting design:

I'm not saying that mid-western notions of the anti-choice and anti-gay agenda are in play here but, as the Church Lady used to say, "How conveeeeeeeenient!"

How inconvenient, though, that the religious right can't seem to pull together a coherent argument for the legislation they hold so dear (they ought to just declare "We're ignorant bigots - there," and be done with it). Our local wingtard, Wayne Allard (a cretin most Coloradans would agree has all the charm of gum on your shoe with half the intellect), manages to illustrate why FMA not only failed but failed to get only one more vote in the Senate than when the piece of shit was introduced back in 2004:
[Sen. Wayne Allard (R-Colo.)] held a news conference Monday at which the speakers said they wanted to reduce the "epidemic level of fatherlessness in America."

"How would outlawing gay marriage encourage heterosexual fathers to stick around?" was the first question. Allard skirted the question by saying that "laws send a message to our children."

The moderator, Matt Daniels of the Alliance for Marriage, tried to find a question on another subject. But when reporters continued to press Allard on the link between same-sex marriage and deadbeat dads, Daniels blurted out: "All right, you know what? We're going to call this press conference to a close."

Pinhead Allard represents my own district (also home to Daddy Dobson's Focus on the Family) and it's well known the Senator kneels and plays felatrix to Dobson whenever Daddy clucks. One would think Allard would have paid attention to the print ads FotF had been running across the country, "Why doesn't Senator [fill in the blank] believe every child needs a mother and a father?" Continuing their lack of logic, FotF's ads went on to explain:
"It is a painful but very real truth. Homosexual marriages intentionally create motherless families or fatherless families. But a compassionate society would not deliberately deny a child a mother or father."

Well, that makes about as much sense as a huge landscaped cock in downtown Des Moines. Maybe I drink too much but I can't recall a single instance when the thought of hot man-on-man sex made me consider dropping the kids off with their mom to prance off to Key West or wherever (not that I spend much time thinking about hot man-on-man sex). In fact, my marriage ending was due mostly to heterosexual sex on the sly. No gays or lesbians involved at all.

Watch out, Des Moines - I suspect marriage is in trouble, there. That's a capital 'T' which rhymes with 'G' and that means "Gay".

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