Listening to: Mamacita’s gracious gift of Man of La Mancha
The dearth of posts here is due to the glacial pace 2006 has deemed how it will slouch out of the primordial ooze and greet that ideal we call The Future.
By all accounts 2005 was not that bad: I found a new job (though not a great job), fell in love, fell out of love (and in and out and in and out, errr hmmmm), watched my kids grow, had my car repo’d, got a better car as a result with none of the payments or headaches of bill collectors, got tons of new music as a result of ‘mixmania!’ and kept this blog afloat despite my propensity for the Brechtian alienation of my readers.
No hurricane hit me, no tsunami swept over me, and no lobbyist handed me money for which I’d later find led to an indictment. In the era of Whine and Neuroses, I’d say I’m batting about two-fifty, thereabouts.
Unfortunately, the New Year has not gotten off to an auspicious beginning. X has been in the process of moving and I’ve had the kids every day since January 2 while she attempts to get her shit together. And school doesn’t start back until tomorrow, which means I’ve had my little darlings demanding all – ALL – my time with no time for Daddy to indulge his perks for sharing Rick Blaine’s citizenship.
The munchkins are still with me and I know I’m going to dread getting up to drag them out of their beds
at six fucking A M tomorrow. The drill begins again, the oatmeal not eaten and the teeth brushed under protest, rejections of that shirt and those pants, the long explanations of why Superman cannot also go to school.
Rinse, repeat until Thursday when Daddy goes to court for Contempt of Court on his insufficient remittance of Child Support. The state is asking for six months in jail with no recommendation of work release.
Those of you who have followed this blog from the beginning are probably shaking your heads and wondering, “What the fuck?” I was, after all (when X was emotionally melting down), the custodian, full time, not comfortable with her ability to care for my children. When I started this blog (and no one read it), I truly was “a full time dad, figuring it out.”
To X’s credit, she agreed, acknowledged she needed help and time to decompress and allowed me to keep them full time until she could regroup and reassess. By measures. I gave her custody until we eventually worked our way back to 50/50 custody, even though it took a few months to get there. We’re now at three days one week, four days the next, a system that works out very well and keeps everything relatively blissful. Indeed, we’re better friends than we were spouses (as we both joke to our friends).
Soon after X and I separated, I was giving her about $700 a month child-support – with no court order – just to keep her afloat. When X and I split I made it clear that I wanted shared custody (something she completely agreed to), my feeling being that I did not want to use the children as a weapon like I’ve seen far too many couples do, to deleterious results. X agreed the kids needed their daddy in their lives as much as I insisted on having mommy in their lives.
Again, long time readers of my blog know how I lost my job (due to my brother lying to get me fired in order to get vengeance for me having his dog destroyed after his dog mauled my son). Without my income to support her and my children, X applied for assistance: TANF, Food Stamps, etc. This is where the state steps in and why I’m looking at 6-months of jail time.
Perhaps I’m a sap since I signed paperwork to give the state the impression that the custody arrangement is 49% (me) vs. 51% her. I knew X wasn’t skilled (thus, consigned to a minimum wage job) and would need public assistance. I signed that agreement knowing X would need public assistance to give my children the bare minimum of what they need to survive.
The state demands remittance; they’re not giving TANF money without making me pay. And they’ve made their assessment based on my income two months after I got fired (when X made her claim) as opposed to what I make now – less than half of what I used to make. Interesting that the state will research a job I haven’t had for two months (at around $2200 a month) but can’t be bothered to research a job I have now (about $900 a month).
More interesting is that the state won’t do simple math. Even if the 49%/51% split was true, X would have the children 7.3 more days per year. With the state requiring $638.00 per month, I am being asked to pay child support in the amount of $1,048.77 per day.
365 / 51% = 186.15
365 / 49% = 178.85
186.15 – 178.85 = 7.3
$638 x 12 = $7656
$7656 / 7.3 = $1048.77
Even in my most hedonistic drug days, I never spent a fifth of that. I can’t imagine spending a grand a day on anything, frankly. Nor should I expect the state to expect any ordinary citizen to spend that kind of money. Then again, I’m talking about mindless bureaucrats, worthless parasites who would not think twice about spending a grand a day of your tax money.
If you don’t hear anything from me after Thursday, you’ll know why.