Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Fuck with Google, Flush The Brown down - UPS service sucks

A turd is a turd is a turd - or so I heard.
A rose is a rose is a rose
but not a bird.
If a turd arose and took wing,
It’d be no bird, it couldn’t sing.
But a bird is a rose, is arose, is a rose,
Can be anything.

Mamacita doesn’t want you to know this but she had her class send My Boys from my last fucked up job a bunch of presents, boxes and boxes of goodies, good love to kids who wouldn’t be getting that from anywhere else. Just one aspect from a multi-faceted heart: Mamacita sends her love everywhere. Not only did My Kids benefit from her generosity (again), but my kids did as well. And so did kids all over the internet. You have to trust me on this, the woman is amazing.

Unfortunately, she sent some of her love via UPS. Our intrepid USPS wouldn’t promise delivery before Christmas but UPS did, smiling broadly while a mute moved in and out of the mouth of a trumpet going “wa wa waaaaahhhhh…” Mamacita went for the music because that’s who she is (the real brains behind mixmania!).

Well over three weeks after their promised delivery date, 3 of the 4 packages have finally arrived. A fourth package (I suspect another Jasper Fforde novel) has been given up for lost, like some sailor hanging onto nothing but a post.

Step back, breathe, consider how badly UPS fucked this up:

Packages finally delivered three weeks after they promised they'd deliver them and

One out of the four they promised to deliver just simply "gone".

I thought I was a pro about statistics but I have to admit that I can't calculate how badly a huge corporation can lose 75% of its load, deliver the load 315% after the time it promised it would and then claim a job well done. OK, I lied - in a Chi Square (and factoring the diminsihed power of this one instance), Brown gets a 37% accuracy in delivering your package and on time.

Thirty-seven percent. I do better at Cripple Creek.

In case you haven’t noticed (cuz if you’re here, you’ve probably been huffing freon), there are lots of links around. For your benefit, I submit:
service sucks
equates UPS

Do it for Mamacita :-D


Sarah said...

Dayam. They do suck. I agree.

Go with Fedex next time, their colors are prettier anyway.

Mamacita said...

You sweet man.

Still no luck with the book. Jasmin is still being abused by UPS Corporate.

I'm glad the big boxes got there, anyway.

I tried.