Monday, November 14, 2005

You get what you ask for

Listening to: The Cure, Pornography

This is November, I know. The leaves are now all brown and tattered, not the golden Hallmark cards of October but a scattershot through the breeze like flecks of dead skin from a desiccated corpse, spilling in through the doorway and littering the carpet, the dandruff of a season passed on. Whatever bits remain swirl on a wind that slices to the marrow and fills the cleft with ice, collecting into cryptograms, anagrams, put the pieces all together and it all spells “you’re screwed”. I know November is not a nice month but by God, winter’s here way too early.

I’m not ready for this, really, not ready for this at all. Call me a drunken optimist but I was hoping that summer would kind of linger well into February, throw some snowflakes into mounds that my kids could sled though and then disappear, drip down the window effortlessly without having to be scraped and slapped against studded tires. Then everything would be green again, full of life and most importantly, warm.

Living here in Colorado, I should be geared up for the season, to welcome the opportunity to slide down a hillside on pieces of wood but I’m not. And to hell with you who say, “Oh, appreciate the change of the seasons, blah dee da blah dee da blah blah blah blah.”

You’re fat, OK, I’m skinny; there’s nothing to gird me against the cold. You can take your mesomorphic fat ass and ski to hell. All winter long, all I can do is throw on the layers and wish for spring. You can stick your finger in my face and remind of what I’m missing out on but you know what?

When summer rolls around, I’ll still be skinny.


landismom said...

Well, I'm fat & I hate winter too. I do like your fantasy of one day of snow. I could live with one day of shoveling, one day of sledding, one day off from work and school with the kids. But months and months of dreary, wet grayness? Blah.

Why did I leave California for the East Coast again?

Silly Old Bear said...


Isn't that something they invented in Hollywood to sell more Christmas shows?

It was 87 here yesterday. And all the stores are playing "White Christmas" like it'll ever happen.

Not a snowball's chance in... well, you know.

Heathen said...

Hey, I'm no skinny minnie either and I still get cold.

Though luckily for me it's still in the 80's!

LOL - I'll be thinking of you freezing your cajones off as I sit on the beach drinking margeritas.


vicki said...

Ya. Me, too. I hear a nice tat on your belly helps take the attention away from those couple extra pounds.

Anne said...

Poor baby! (wicked laugh)

Well now, what on earth are you doing in COLORADO if you hate cold?? Silliness abounds.

I could fatten you up lol